Part 5 Dealing With Death
by SupernaturalDeanFreak
Summary: Dean isn't handling Chloe's revelation too well, leaving Chloe heartbroken and Sam to pick up the pieces.


Sam had never seen Dean so angry and it was really starting to worry him. They had been through some pretty rough times but the anger had never been this intense and for this long. Dean had found out that after Chloe had been stabbed and before Cas was able to bring her back, she had spent the equivalent of 10 years in hell and he had been furious ever since. Sam knew as well as Dean how traumatising hell could be, so to a certain point Sam knew that Dean's anger was justified, because all he wanted to do was protect Chloe and he hadn't been able to this time. Chloe had told Sam, Cas and Bobby about it almost as soon as she was up on her feet again, but she had begged them not to tell Dean because she knew, as did all the others, that Dean would blame himself for not being able to protect her. So when Cas' loyalty to Dean got the better of him and he decided to announce that Chloe was hiding something from him she had no choice but to tell Dean the truth and, as predicted, he was livid.

For the first few days Dean would yell at anyone that came near him, even Chloe. But eventually, after a lot of yelling back, Chloe managed to get through to Dean that his anger wasn't helping, so he began to shut himself off completely and did the worst thing he could possibly have done, he grabbed the keys to the Impala and drove away. Chloe was heart-broken and it was left to Sam to comfort her because Bobby, no matter how much of a father figure he was, was useless at that kind of thing. The first few days after her ordeal in hell, Chloe had been weak but seemed to be recovering well. Dean's disappearing act couldn't have happened at a worse time because Chloe's recovery was completely halted and she rapidly went back to hardly being able to do anything for herself.

The day after Dean left Chloe didn't even get out of bed. Bobby had assumed that it was because she was too upset and had told Sam to give her some space. But on the evening of the second day Sam's worry got the better of him and he went to check that she was ok and was shocked by what he saw. Chloe was curled up in the bed her and Dean had shared and looked almost as pale as she had when she was lying lifeless in Dean's arms. Sam had rushed over to the bed, quickly checking to see if she was actually still breathing. To his relief, she was. Sam sighed and gently brushed her hair back from her pale face. Chloe was like a little sister to him and he hated seeing her like this and he hated that Dean had gone and left her like this. Chloe seemed to be sleeping peacefully, which was something, so Sam left quietly and went to his own room to try and figure out what he was going to do next.

When Sam went to check on Chloe the next morning she was already awake and just lying there still looking pale and fragile.

"Hey." She smiled as Sam peered around the door.

"Hey," he replied, "How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think. But you, on the other hand, look like hell." Chloe pointed out.

"Yeah, well that's what having a total dick for a brother does to you I guess." Sam didn't even attempt to hide his anger towards Dean. Chloe didn't say anything.

"Do you need anything?" Sam asked.

"No, I'm fine." Chloe assured him, "I might just grab a shower and then go and find something to eat. I can't hide out in here and mope can I? I have to figure out where the hell Dean is and then go and sort this whole mess out!" Sam nodded.

"Ok, I'll leave you to it. Just call out if you need me." Chloe got up out of bed and hugged him.

"Thank you Sam." She said, kissing his cheek.

Sam spent the next few hours wracking his brain for some kind of clue as to where Dean might go to lie-low.

"I can't believe I didn't think of this before!" He exclaimed suddenly. Chloe and Bobby looked up, frowning at him.

"Bobby, what's the date?" Sam asked. Bobby looked at the dial of his watch.

"1st November, why?" Bobby replied.

"I think I know where Dean will be. Bobby, can I borrow a car?"

"Sure. You really think you're gonna be able to find him?" Bobby asked, uncertainty tainting his voice.

"Yeah. Chloe, grab a bag, were hitting the road." She nodded and headed slowly towards the bedroom, not exactly full of optimism. She knew that Sam knew Dean better than anyone, but she knew that Dean knew that too and if he didn't want to be found then there was little chance of actually finding him.

In the car Sam explained to Chloe that the 2nd November would be the anniversary of their mom's death and Dean had been talking to Sam about taking Chloe to visit her grave to mark the occasion. In the almost 28 years since she was killed and Dean had only been to her grave a handful of times but he had talked to Sam about taking Chloe to introduce her to Mary Winchester and Sam was certain that this is where Dean would be.

It was only a couple of hours drive to Greenville, Illinois where Mary's grave was located but for Chloe it seemed unbearably long. She didn't even know if Dean would be there when they got there and even if he was she had no idea what she was going to say to him because she every time she thought about him walking out of that door she got almost as angry as he had been when he'd left. Sam knew that Chloe was desperate to see Dean, so he drove as fast as the old car they had borrowed from Bobby would allow. It was late afternoon when they arrived, driving straight past the cheapest motel and instead checked into a more expensive hotel than they were used to so there would be less chance of just running into Dean in the corridor, which might cause him to bolt again. That night Chloe hardly slept as she imagined what she would say and every possible way the conversation could go tomorrow, assuming that Dean was actually even in Greenville.

The next morning after a few hours of fitful sleep, Chloe left Sam at the hotel and took the car they had borrowed from Bobby and head towards the cemetery. It was still only just getting light, but Chloe would sit and watch all day if she had to so that she didn't miss Dean. She was freezing cold, but she didn't care, the only thing that mattered to her was seeing Dean and getting him to come back home. She didn't have to wait long. She heard the unmistakable roar of the Impala before she saw it pull onto the cemeteries car park just in front of where she was parked in a side road. Her eyes widened as Dean got out of the car. Was it possible for him to be even more breath taking? Or in the last few awful weeks had she just forgotten how beautiful he was? From a safe distance Chloe watched Dean walk towards the grave of his beloved mother, Mary Winchester. Chloe had heard stories about how much of an amazing and beautiful woman she had been, there were no photographs so Chloe could only imagine, but the stories had left her with the impression that Mary Winchester had been nothing less than a saint.

At least ten minutes went by before Chloe even considered getting out of the car. She knew that Dean really needed to talk to somebody and from the way she saw his shoulders relax as he stood before his mother's headstone it was obvious that he found comfort in standing there and off-loading so she didn't want to interrupt him to soon. Eventually she couldn't take it much longer, she had missed Dean more than she dared to admit, even to herself, over the last few days. She preferred it when he was angry and constantly yelling than him not being there at all. She wanted to put her arms around him and tell him that it wasn't his fault and that everything would be ok as long as they were together. He wouldn't believe it, she knew that, but she had to try.

Heading across the cemetery, Chloe didn't want to sneak up on Dean so she walked towards him on a path where she knew he would see her approaching. As she was halfway across the cemetery towards Dean, he looked up and saw her and for several awful seconds she could see conflict in his perfect features and she thought that he was going to turn around and walk away from her. But to her relief, he didn't. She came to a stop on the opposite side of Mary's headstone to where Dean was standing looking at the ground, unable to meet her gaze.

"Let me guess, Sam's hiding behind the bushes waiting?" Dean said bitterly.

"No, it's just me and you." Chloe said quietly and then added, "And Mary." She pointed awkwardly down towards the headstone. For a few minutes Dean didn't say anything and Chloe just stood there letting Dean know that no matter what she would always be there. Eventually he smiled sadly and said,

"She would have liked you." Chloe smiled back,

"Thanks. That means a lot. I think I would have liked her too."

"I'm so sorry." Dean said after another minute. "It's not your fault and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"It's not your fault either Dean. When will you realise that?"

"It doesn't work like that." Dean shook his head and Chloe sighed. She knew that this was just the way Dean was, he felt responsible for things, even those way beyond his control.

"I know," Chloe replied sadly, "but I hope that one day you will believe me."

"One day, maybe." Chloe rolled her eyes at his reply. "I shouldn't have run away like that, it was selfish. I was angry and I didn't even know why, I didn't want to be yelling at you all the time so I thought it would be easier if I just went away for a while. I've regretted that decision every second of every day since and I never stopped thinking about you!" Dean exclaimed. That was the most Chloe had heard Dean speak since she'd told him what happened to her, and with his words, any anger she had previously felt towards him evaporated.

"None of that matters now. It's happened and we can't change it but we can't keep on worrying about it." Chloe said reassuringly. Dean laughed lightly. "What?" Chloe asked.

"When did you become so philosophical?" Dean asked mockingly.

"Somewhere between you walking out on me and me arriving here today ready to tell you to go screw yourself." Chloe shot back, her tone angry. Dean nodded, he'd deserved that, he'd been a dick and despite all that she was still there trying to support him if he'd let her.

"I'm glad you're here. I missed you so much." Dean told her, knowing that he had a lot of work to do for her to forgive him.

"Yeah well, it's a damn good job that your brother knows you better than you do!" Chloe said and Dean nodded again,

"That's probably true." He paused and looked deep into Chloe's beautiful blue eyes that smiled no matter what mood she was in.

"I am sorry." Dean repeated, holding out his hand as Chloe finally closed the last of the distance between them and then took his hand.

"I know." She said softly, stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss him. He slid his strong arms around her, holding her to him and silently vowed never to let her go again. Chloe pulled back a looked up at Dean with a look in her eyes that he couldn't quite figure out. The she asked,

"Well aren't you going to introduce me to your mom?" Dean couldn't help but smile at her and at that moment he couldn't think of anywhere else in the world he would rather be but right there with her, forever.


End file.
